would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
