Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
