capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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