Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and she was petting her beer can
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
