you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
