Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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