mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
