True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize