I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
