You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
