we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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