Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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