you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize