his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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