If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
