its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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