And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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