uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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