Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
