yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
