i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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