Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
