butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
do nipples grow back?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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