I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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