It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
