Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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