oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Randomize
