i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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