Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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