I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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