that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
