the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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