He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
