I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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