He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
