I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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