The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
