My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
