This is not my ceiling
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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