how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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