He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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