Me too!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
