Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
