I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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