Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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