Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(239): View more from Florida

I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking

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(816): View more from Missouri

you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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(269): View more from Michigan

I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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(602): View more from Arizona

my dad is going to jail this weekend

(1-602): View more from Arizona

where are we going to get our weed from?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I don't have a cat..?

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(765): View more from Indiana

Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire

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