Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
