Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize