last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
