By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
