It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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