your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
