I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
