Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
