theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
