Just fell off a train. Bad.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I party with great urgency now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
