Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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