My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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