how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
