stop calling my apartment porn island.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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