My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize