ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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